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St. Jane Frances de Chantal’s perfect advice for parents

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Theresa Civantos Barber - published on 01/13/22
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“Be brave then, dearest daughter,” the saintly mother of four wrote ...

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Often the words of the saints seem to reach across time and space to speak directly to our hearts. That’s how I felt when I read a letter St. Jane Frances de Chantal wrote to her daughter.

St. Jane was in her 50s and the superior of a religious order when she wrote the letter. But she had not forgotten what it was like to be a mother of little ones. 

In this letter, she spoke directly to her daughter’s state in life, and through her, to all anxious parents. (You can find the full text of the letter free online: It’s Letter 60, To the Countess de Toulonjon.)

1Be at peace about your children’s safety and future

St. Jane begins by addressing her daughter’s anxieties about the future of her children:

When we feel worried about our children and their future, St. Jane reminds us to turn our hearts toward trust in God instead. He loves our children more than we do and will take care of them. 

2Dedicate your energy to mothering well

Instead of worrying needlessly about the future, St. Jane says, put all that thought into being the best parent you can be. Spend your energy on your children right now instead of worrying about things that may or may not happen down the road.

3Work alongside your spouse to build a happy home

Finally, St. Jane encourages her daughter to use her time and energy on managing her home well alongside her husband. Indeed, our time is better spent working diligently on what we ought to do today than on worrying about the future.

St. Jane’s words, “Be brave then, dearest daughter,” reveal how well she understood the hard realities of motherhood. My book club recently read a selection of St. Jane’s writings, and this letter stood out to many of us as especially relevant to our vocations. 

“Reading St. Jane’s letter to her married daughter was inspiring and refreshing to me as a mom of 3 young children,” said one book club member, Elizabeth. “I have rarely encountered a saint’s advice geared specifically towards motivating me in my vocation as a wife, mother and homemaker.”

For her, the letter has become a rallying cry for her work in the home. “I read her letter every morning because it reminds me that our calling as mothers is ordained by God and He will provide for us as we do His work.” To that we say, Amen!

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