How I’ve honored Holy Week when life gets complicated

Holy Week is the most sacred time of year, yet our modern lives don’t always cooperate with the liturgical year. Many people face scheduling conflicts that can make fully participating in these holy days challenging.

The week from Palm Sunday to Easter Sunday invites us to walk alongside Christ through his Passion, death, and resurrection. Ideally, we'd clear our calendars completely. But reality often looks different.

I’ve faced these kinds of dilemmas myself. One year, a close relative’s college graduation took place on Good Friday. Another year, beloved family members who are not Catholic had their wedding on Holy Saturday. How could I honor Good Friday and Holy Saturday while being supportive and present to my family for these important events? 

I thought of all this recently when a friend mentioned that her child’s school play was scheduled for Good Friday and Holy Saturday. The kids had rehearsed for months, and the whole cast was counting on her child’s presence. What to do?

If you are trying to navigate a situation like this, I see you: You're not alone. I know what it feels like to want to love and support people you care about while also honoring these holy days that matter so much to you as a Catholic. Sometimes it's tricky to balance both, but it can be done. Here’s how I navigated these situations in my own life. Hopefully my experience can be useful for you too.

It first should be said that much of Holy Week does not fall under the classification of "obligation." Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday of course are obligatory, but in most dioceses, the beautiful liturgies of Holy Week are not. We will naturally want to participate in this holiest of weeks, but we can only do what we are able.

God understands our complex lives and desire to love others well while honoring holy days. With some creativity and time management, we found it doable to pray and honor these holy occasions while being present to loved ones. 

For example, the year of the Holy Saturday wedding, I went to Stations of the Cross on Good Friday and Easter Mass the day afterward. Holy Saturday itself is a “day of waiting” without any particular required religious observance, so it worked for me to attend the wedding while honoring the Triduum. 

The year of the college graduation on Good Friday was trickier. Graduation events throughout the day made it hard to sneak away, especially as I had my toddler with me. I ended up finding a quiet moment in the hotel room during my toddler’s nap to pray the Stations of the Cross privately. As for fasting, I solved that problem by making the graduation dinner that day my “one meal” of the day.

For unavoidable commitments like your child's school play on Good Friday, consider how to honor the day's significance anyway. Perhaps your family can pray the Stations of the Cross early in the day, before the performance. You might also make time for a family foot washing ceremony on Holy Thursday, perhaps earlier in the day. 

For parents, these situations provide teaching moments about prioritizing faith while navigating life's complexities. Children learn from watching how we handle these dilemmas. We can get creative about fitting in family traditions for Holy Week, explaining to our kids that we are honoring Holy Week a little differently this year in order to show love and support to family members or fulfill our outside obligations, while still making this sacred season a priority. My husband and I brought our children with us to Good Friday and Easter Sunday services the year of the Holy Saturday wedding, and it made a big impression on them that we made time for these services in the midst of traveling to the wedding.

When events can't be changed, bring the spirit of Holy Week with you as much as you can. Taking time for a private quiet prayer before a meal or a moment of reflection can maintain your spiritual focus in your heart amid secular activities.

Technology offers solutions, too. Many parishes now livestream Holy Week services, allowing participation when physically attending isn’t possible. The college graduation on Good Friday was 8 years ago, but nowadays, I would have been able to find an online Stations of the Cross or Good Friday liturgy to join. 

Remember also that many churches offer multiple service times for major celebrations. If morning events conflict with afternoon commitments, evening liturgies might work perfectly. Search online to find service times at other churches that might work better for your schedule.

Sometimes we have to simply do our best with situations beyond our control. God sees our intentions and efforts, and knows we are doing all we can. Our goal is to walk beside Christ and honor his Sacrifice this week, and we can carry that spirit in our hearts even when outside circumstances are less than favorable. 

Whatever your Holy Week challenges this year, approach them with prayer, flexibility, and grace. We can find creative ways to enter fully into this sacred time even when life doesn't perfectly align with the liturgical calendar.